Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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