Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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