dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
