just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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