there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
4 words: hood of his car
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
