"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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