I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
