The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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