So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
