there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
