can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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