She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
