it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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