you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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