: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
