Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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