Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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