i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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