all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
