He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
