i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
