I would go down on you faster than GM stock
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
