Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
