you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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