So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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