Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize