If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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