Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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