you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
