We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
