you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
