one two three fourrrrnication!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
