Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
