i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
