Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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