Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize