I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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