Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
