I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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