Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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