the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
