Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize