he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
