She's JV to your varsity
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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