I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
