What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
