I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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