i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
