I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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