What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
