I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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