in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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