your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
