I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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