Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize