there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize