I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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