The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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