My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
