did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
