I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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