he was CRYING into my vagina
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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