Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
