it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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