i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Floor bacon is actually really good
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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