you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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