i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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