You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
