he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize