And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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