all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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