apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just found puke in my bra..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
