I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize